limbo

I went to a family retreat at a large most likely rented for the occasion house. there was christian functions happening there, leading me to think it mostly served as a church. slept in a very oversized bed with many people, adults and children. more people were coming in all the time, with luggage like they were coming in from out of town. the bed turned out to be dirty. some kids were laying nearby when i noticed 'poop.' i got up to go piss and went out the door in my underwear, but theres people everywhere, dressed up. a suit guy, church guy worker, led me to the bathrooms. or well he told me where they were. i passed many large rooms with 'congregations' or suits and dresses. me disheveled and almost naked with a morning hard on. great.
stairs and hallways and stares. or thats how i felt. no one really noticed.
i finally made it to where i thought i was going, outside the building, to a little rascals era group of miscreants, and this contraption, uh, wall, building - a few people perched on and around it. there were two haphazard doors like from an ancient ship or bank. i chose left which was the 'small' one i was told. maybe they also said 'girl' one too. i always choose wrong i thought. it looked retarded anyway so with some effort i got to the 2nd door, open and it is just as retarded, wood beams doing nothing, super shallow... one foot wide/deep, 2 feet tall, and open on the back side, no actual toilet at all, just an absurd joke. like a maniac had some plywood, 2 by 4's, mud, clay, some trash and a vision. stupid vision.

i knew a safe / real bathroom. like it was an old workplace or house, i was familiar with it. as i was starting to go inside thru the smallish window/door, she came upon me. my dirty shoes were off. inside looked clean and pink. i am so polite.
the older lady / owner i knew from the past. nice lady. i felt guilty - she wanted me to stay, well, she offered it, if i'd help, but i was actually just still looking for a bathroom.
my shoes were filthy, full of pepples and dirt which i shook out while she talked.
she had a nice, colorful and strange place. a little hard to get to, and or to get into. might have been my grandmother. i was humbled and quietened. i shook my shoes out and left w/o using bathroom or asking about it.

i assed through a venuefull of dancing girls, pretty girls with nice make up and hair, smiles, innocent. red brick walls. i bumped right into meghan She was all smiles. we kissed, no, i kissed her, and started to keep going, but kissed her again, fully, with all my love, this happened a few times before i kept going through, i had to (leave), something driving me, supposedly the bathroom, but i think i knew the bathroom was a cover up the whole dream. i was concerned with the CIA and mind control.

all the girls were blushing and all smiles and shyness and giggles. i wanted to stay with meghan, but...

i was part of a "gang" of sorts - gliding around the streets somehow.. until i found two bikes disguised as trash. handlebar on mine was all warped, the other was better. steering seemed as if it'd be difficult. with the bikes was all this "junk" which as soon as we saw it we thought "everything we need is in this pile" - even if we didnt know how or why, each piece was important, perhaps we could even discover what to do / plans by going thru the junk, which was pressed together into strange forms, almost making walls, walls made of art. wall art.
on the bike i left, pulled in front of everyone else, peddling around and around but not going fast at all, as it was a tiny bike. i saw 3 CIA in the median, aware they were watching me, they were 'manning' a construction orange light up sign, the sort that spells out directives such as 'left lane closed ahead'
they were in all black, dressed like cops. i didnt care. i knew they werent coming right then, just watching. a large dark skinned 'african' man, sweating, spitting like daffy duck towards me, trying to tell me something, but such gibberish. i thought him insane. shouting nonsense, how would i ever discover a message? i had no good reason to stop my slow ride for him. i was saying "fuck you" to him. this is when i woke.

there was a whole scene in which the details are much more fuzzy. a house, focused on one person, but full of people. i would be mentally harassed there, via vibes and stares, and groups of unspeaking hostile suits, demons, glaring. sweaty faces. no one else seemed to notice them or care.
i only wanted to be alone with this person. never could. i dont remember who it was. i was livid and ready to fight. one in particular, blonde guy, i wanted him dead. he was a really evil thing. mischevious fuckers.